Breakfast Serial (Sifl and Olly)

This is an exchange from my new favorite show, Sifl and Olly, which apparently ran on MTV while I wasn't paying attention. It is terribly funny and random, which is how I like em'. The name of this skit is Breakfast Serial. Each letter is to be read out loud using outrageous accents. The first one is wimpy sounding, second one sounds lordly, third one kinda bored businessman, and fourth one sounds like a teenager.


Dear Bacon,
I write to inform you that you are being sued again for breaking our agreement. Once again, on the breakfast of Sept 5 you clearly took up most of your plate. I try to remind myself that with being a pork product you can't help being such a pig. Again I understand you're longer than me, but this bully attitude of yours must stop.
From,
Egg

Dear Egg,
Bring it on, you yellow-hearted, greasy mucousy bastard! I'll do what I want and your noise don't scare me. I'll try to remind myself that because you're a poultry product you can't help being such a chicken. This plate ain't big enough for the both of us.
Piss off!
Bacon

Dear Egg and Bacon,
I write you regrettably to complain. I realize there has been a lot of stress at the plate lately but this childish behavior must stop. Regarding the September 5th breakfast you once again embarrassed me in front of orange juice. After our lengthy discussion I though that the two of you would at least consider my feelings.
Sorry,
Toast


Dear Egg Bacon and Toast,
I wish that you old timers would just shut the hell up and be a healthy breakfast like the rest of us.
Freaks!
Cereal